He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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