Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
this will be a night to untag.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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