i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's great music for shaving your balls
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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