The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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