I cannot find my penis.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
