Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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