I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
