I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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