Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My life is pants optional.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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