I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
