Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
