i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
