Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
