i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
