I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm at about main and main street
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
