the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize