Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
