today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
