I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
