You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
