Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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