hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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