Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
