omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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