don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The power of my boobs compel you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
