I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize