even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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