Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
