all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
