i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
