my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
