he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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