my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
