If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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