I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i came on her dog
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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