Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
