He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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