I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
