your room smells of hookers.
And success
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize