Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
