butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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