Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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