Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
As shirtless as possible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
