I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
