May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize