If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
