it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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