I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
