At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
