I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
