He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
