I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
