Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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