I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
