What did we do last night that was yellow?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
