Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
