Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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