Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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