Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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