Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
