Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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