I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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